Bad Therapist Says
After Frances Klein
You never told me this / you look healthy / every woman hates her body / there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be thin / I want to lose weight too / every woman does / just 5-10-15 pounds / no carbs in the best way / you’re in your 40s now weight gain is expected / it’s not like you’re single and need to attract a man / every teenager hates their body themselves their parents / every woman equates sex to love / self-worth can be found in your looks your body the sway of your hips your perky tits / it’s normal to skip meals / to count calories / to want to weigh less / daily weigh-ins help you stay in control / how do you feel about your father your mother your lover from two decades ago / I’d kill to have your body / I don’t think this is extreme behavior / every woman diets / oh we’re out of time / same day next week
The Boy Is Mine
After the song by Brandy and Monica (1998)
I no longer remember how
we met or how we discovered
the truth: we were fucking
the same boy. That summer
the air drug its hot fingers
through our hair as we drove
with the windows down and
the stereo up——Brandy
and Monica fighting over
a man, each trying to claim
him. We shout-sang, delirious
in our discovery. The first time
he saw us together, matching
tank tops and mirroring
hair styles, I’m sure he didn’t
expect us to walk away, hands
clasped and heads thrown back
in the delight of choosing each
other over him.
Chain Letter
If you don’t forward this email you’ll have ten years bad
luck. If you finish reading this poem you’ll be rewarded
a compliment. If you wake up in a tub of ice your kidneys
have been stolen. If you don’t share this poem with at least
five people an AI-book will win the Pulitzer. If you share
your bank account I’ll give you $1M——really, I’m just
a random, rich person wanting to help a stranger! If you
step on a crack you’ll break yourself wide open. If you add
your name to the bottom of the list you’ll receive three
books in the mail——keep it going! If you break a mirror
keep your tender skin away from the shards, your blood
will surge to the surface seeking release for seven long years.
If you untie the ribbon, her head will roll off. If you share
this poem with 30 people within 15 minutes of reading it
God/Shiva/Buddha/Allah/the Flying Spaghetti Monster
will fix two things in your favor. If you sleep with amethyst
under your pillow, congrats! You slept with a rock under
your pillow! If you finish your dinner you’ll get dessert.
If you eat dessert you’ll gain two pounds. If you count calories
you won’t finish dinner. If you’re still reading this poem
your darkest desire will be granted. If you hold your breath
while stepping on a scale the numbers don’t count.
You have finished this poem, here is your reward:
you are a magical bitch, ignore everything else. Except
that pale ribbon around your throat, keep it knotted tight.
Courtney LeBlanc is the author of the four full-length collections, most recently Her Dark Everything and Her Whole Bright Life (winner of the Jack McCarthy Book Prize). She is the Arlington County Poet Laureate and the founder and editor-in-chief of Riot in Your Throat, an independent poetry press. She’s also the founder of the Poetry Coven, a monthly generative workshop she runs out of her home. She loves nail polish, tattoos, and a soy latte each morning. Find her online at www.courtneyleblanc.com. Her favorite revenge story is Medusa——every man turned to stone deserved it. We’ll pretend Perseus didn’t behead her but instead was turned to stone himself.
